Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Polyvore madness....made me late for work

What a Great Holiday

Jesus and my Granny share the same CakeDay!  This was a hectic Christmas at work, hauling toys without a sleigh, making sure all the kids got toys and clothing. It did my heart good though, if I didn't get any gifts for Christmas I was totally ok with that. I don't think i've honestly ever felt that way. I always anticipate that holidays and gift giving and receiving. This year I was just looking forward to being with my family and spending QT w/shhhh.  Especially since I spent Thanksgiving in TX, and missed out on all the food. But it was worth it seeing my Dad.  
S/n I have to go to work today after being snowed in for a few days , nothing about that place excites me. I thank god I have job,I'm gonna do my best daily. BUT I am filling out applications daily. Especially since my Hunny fixed my PC :)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Life . . . . it just happens

Is life really meant to be figured out? Mannn so many thoughts and ideas rape my brain ..especially when i'm working, sleeping...trying to sleep.Ive written a book in my head, I read it in my sleep... sooo hear goes nothing:

Did u see the soul train awards... I did, lost count of how many times. I love Ms. Baker  s/o to PANDORA.  .. exhibt A : Freddy Jackson that guy is NSFW....exhibt B the show made me want new music like a new Adele album. running to buy The Sea when I get a free paycheck. I think it'll make me happy, either that or I should be able to at least clean up or drink a bottle of wine to it.

The Shhh! guy is still in my  bubble, his smile makes me smile, his laugh makes me laugh, I'm putting good energy out for us ..hope I get it back 

....I miss my friends alot, or do i just miss the times we had, or where I was in life then?
Man i'm 28  single as in not married...No kids on the horizon...shhh! and I are committed
I often feel like I should be commited, apart of me has died chasing my little girl dream, not i'm just chasing pavements....things are hard ..set in stone faith hasn't reached jackhammer status....s/n i dont obsesses about these things .....more patience is a goal

I spent every weekend in Nov. doing something.. it was hectic I like to keep busy , it relaxes my conscience and forces me to live in the moment. 
I think alot maybe thats why I tend to tune people out or cut them off in conversations..... Inside I predict the what ifs and assess risks..its a terrible habit! There is a child in me that is deathly afraid to take risks....I sweat and go into mental overload when I don't feel safe. 
Happiness is good in small doses...lately i've been using all my happiness for others! I know some people who are simply wonderful @ life.

pouring into my glass to make it full

Saturday, July 10, 2010

All White Party

Must -Haves if  I was going to an all-white party.


With an unlimited budget :)


DRAKE, what an unexpected pandora stations are as follows: Anita Baker, Monica, Brandy, Eric Roberson, Janelle Monae, Solange....I thought Drake was just a know catchy young money dude. How wrong was I ? I saw bits of his "When I was 17" and gained a new respect for him. And his huslte, honestly I really like his CD.  It is absent of the overly sexist lyrics, apathetic emotions, and doesn't read like a excerpt from the wire. Hooray!! The beats are calm, too many I like all the songs. Im glad he's recognizing "fancy" ladies, instead of money grubbing hoes. Love the struggle about changing and being who he is now vs. who he was before the fame.

Heavy Rotation; Fireworks, Karaoke, Light it up

Tis the Season for weddings

This is the time of year for weddings. What to wear is always an issue. First off are there really rules? Some people say you can't wear white, or black. Well I  sayy it maybe a little impolite to wear white considering the bride. But if your going to you ex's wedding white it is!! j/k kinda....anyway here are a few looks that I would definately wear to a wedding. These are the types of place/themes I had in mind. Can you guess which dress?


  • Preppy spring outdoor wedding
  • After 5 
  • Traditional
  • Bohemian
  • Miami

Highatus (hiatus)

If you ever enjoyed a post i'm sorry I been gone so long.... Alot of new happenings going on in my personal and professional life. I also wanted a new layout for my blog. To no avail. ..My head has been swarming with plenty of new blog posts so im going to update a few today and a few in a couple of weeks. My internet is out so my time is limited.

Saturday, April 24, 2010


Shhh don't tell anyone

I can't remember the last time it felt like this

No actually I do...But never in my fully mature adult life

Really getting along, no qualms...everything is calm

Bored together but having the best time EVER!

Attentive, kind, gentle and genuine somethings I hardly even find in my coworkers

Cant wait to see where this road will leave

Shhh I have to keep it a secret....because I don't wanna jinx it :)

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Offended much?

Original Article on Fox News
go figure

Is this artwork? Or such a harsh reality that it makes buppies offended? Are you that removed from urban reality or the depiction of it that you never met "cha-cha" or "Ray-ray's girl". Well.. I for one am not. Yes, I was raised in the semi/cityish (yes i made that up!) suburbs. But while I would love to celebrate a mural of Serena, Condolezza, and Mrs. Obama. But I even work in a school, that is of mixed population. I do see "Serena" coming to pick up little Grace with a business suit. However more commonly I spot "Lashay" coming to pick up "Sincere and Nasir" with 4-inch heels , jeans soo tight I know she was at the club last nite! You know with the black weave and purple extensions in the front. While I would like to say Only God Can judge them, the fact is that society has seen the image place out so often. It becomes the norm. So yes I love to see people of all races in a positive light. But this images are ReAliTy for someone. SN: Is it me or does everything "urban" appear to be "ghetto". Just wondering.

For the Luv of Hov....


Snippet for an documentary soon to air on FaceBook. Say hov!

Unsurprisingly Good

This was my first ever Christian fiction book written by a Caucasian author. I know, I know who cares about color. But I just like to support African-American authors. fist pump! I got it from a co-worker who loves books. We usually share our love for good books and distaste for some urban fiction. So naturally I was game especially after she told me she almost chose reading over shopping. I haven't read a book that I couldn't put down in forever. The last one was What Becomes of the Brokenhearted by E. Lynn Harris. R.I.P. When she lent it to me and I saw the cover, I was honestly in no mood to get reading. However Chapter 1 changed that! This story is based on the biblical text of Hosea. In short a man is told by God to marry a prostitute. In turn her gives her the BEST life she could imagine and she turns him away So many times. Although it the book is set during the time of the Oregon Trail I enjoyed it. The book gives insight into how God's love is unfailing, thus a REAL man after his own heart has love too! Love that is unfailing. I could go on for days but just read the book. It won't disapoint IMO. Happy Sunday

Sunday, March 14, 2010


Two of my favorite celebrity couples have jumped ship! D-nice & Malinda are just newlyweds. I was really rooting for this couple. Especially after the way Mehki Phifer dogged her out years ago. (Google it!) Her wedding was fab, so was her shower hosted by G.Garvin..Well I hope they can work it out. The other couple I was rooting for was Monica and Rocko. I will admit to d/l I'mma do I really wasn't rooting for them to get married. Untilllll I saw the nice family structure they had going on. Via the Still Standing Show. They appeared to have such a strong family bond. I knew there had to be a reason she didn't marry him. I'm sure he was probably living in the shadow of her career somewhat. But really Rocko she stayed off the music scene for a while. So you could "DO YOU" I am really upset at how this is going to effect the boys. :( This is a classic case for my arguments against "Shacking UP".

Thursday, March 11, 2010

We gotta do better!


...Monica could've done this record justice.

Love Hurts........It damn sure does Nivea when you get married have twins by an upcoming producer only to go down SPLITSVILLE ALLEY...and have a baby by a tatted-up often high rapper only months apart from his other chic a beautiful WORKING actress...Love :So many people use your name in vain. Nevertheless heres the video:

I like the song though...The fur hood is killing me, all these baby daddies and you couldn't get a mink or a Maybach..or even a nice leather belt vintage maybe, Sheesh..And the I got these rhinestones in a pack of 40 from Jo-Ann Fabric, My cousin Peaches told me this ish was tight BODYSUIT..Looks like she found it in the Lost & FoUnD box @ Trina's School For Girls..Nuff said.


Yay!.Orgasmic.Go Me!.Ahh
OK OK...I took Yoga and loved.Hence the title of this post. My instructor "Lexie" Turned the lights out and started talking softly. My body instantly went into sleep mode and I started yawning and stretching. Initially I got past my fear of being an obvious novice. The fact that I was the only person of color singled me out too. But it was so Calm and relaxing/ Warrior poses were done on both sides of the body and we did some block movements. This got me hooked. I was so refreshed I stayed up past my normal 9'oclock bedtime. Still waking up on a natural high was pure bliss. I was suppose to go tonite but I needed some me time. Lets just say I haven't SLEEP that good in a while.


Okay ....So I know people are reading my blog, besides my "Natural High BFF". So i'm back on BLOGGER...I kinda gave blogger his papers, welll competitors are so great! I tried Wordpress and because I have little to no knowledge of CSS code I was lost. SOOO I moved to TMBLR which I absolutely adored playing with the 1000s of layout choices, I spent a whole day being thrilled with the ease of uploading music and messing with the logistics of my page. Only to create my vision, and realize there was no room for comments. So I slept on it, I actually feel like ppl don't feel the need to comment on my blog. As lazy as I am about posting. Well I added Disqus a comment server. Disqus turned out to be a disaster. Reading the FAQs some Tmblr themes do not support the service. Of course my "took a whole day to make blog" was one of the themes. ..So Im BaCk.

Im Under Construction too

Download Under Construction Rough Mix mp3

New Music Solange Knowles.. Under Construction. Sorry no catchy phrases,or dances can be done to the song. This isn't one about how much you love your boo either. Its about change, and quite frankly. I need Change!

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Gr1. Why is Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates,(The professor called a "monkey" by a cop, after being arrested for breaking into his OWN house.) Donating the HANDcuffs to a black museum exhibt? "I mean what did he do call some one up and say lemme get those cuffs"-Natural High *smh*

2.Olympics I must confess I am not really interested but There is a speed skater African American Shani Davis who won a Gold Medal for his sport. He is the 1st African American to win an individual title.

In other randomness

It has become quite a pet peeve of mine how people treat the elderly. Im sure plenty of people have encountered a stubborn or rude person with a few years under thier belt. Please they have been on this earth decades longer than you. If I hear one more person talk to thier Granny or Grandpa as though they are a homie on the street ! I'm gonna try not to slap them. As I type I see a fustrated Granny and her grandson. He is out moving around and playing as children do, but she is also telling he husband he is too busy. At her age she should not have to be bothered with Ray-Ray's child. But maybe she wanted him as many grand parents spoil thier grandchildren.....Ok the elderly rant is over.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Sunday, January 31, 2010


One of my favorite songs is by an artist named Janelle Monae. The song is upbeat and just an all out fun song. It focuses on letting go of daily stresses and letting go! This is something I don’t do enough of. I am constantly analyzing everything, sometimes I leave work and my body is ready to unwind. But mentally I cannot rest for some reason. I am always thinking about what things I’ve done, haven’t done yet and need to DO. Awhile back I was in a group counseling class where the topic of happiness came up. The topic for that day was about dealing with burnout and taking time to do things that make you happy. Initially it was an awful experience for me! Everyone had to discuss individually what makes them happy etc. Then my colleagues gave feedback and or criticism. (I equate criticism with rejection) As my turn came around, I realized I LiTeRalLy had no idea what made me HappY. My colleagues were shocked, and very critical. I can still hear one person saying “um she don’t know what makes her happy that’s terrible”. Among the voiced opinions in disbelief my professor saved me. Dr. G stated what I felt was very real, and very common. She challenged the others who said that they were happiest with certain people or doing “things”. What if those people weren’t a part of their lives or they suddenly couldn’t do those things? I didn’t feel so bad, but I did feel like my unhappiness was mistaken for me being unappreciative. But that was totally not the case. I was content with my life then and now. But was that really HaPpY? I am growing, but still try to find that balance. I find Joy in many things. So I said all this to say that this week I worked 2 jobs and went home refreshed and GENUINELY happy. This peace of mind had come about because: I have started praying before I go into my second job. Occasionally the day is a little stressful at job #1 and I do not wish to take my frustrations out on my kids @ job #2. As a counselor I want be neutral. Dr. Drew is my role model for non-verbals. My non-verbals can be off the charts, as much as I try to control them. I simply change my outlook and roll with the punches. It feels Great.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Self- Hate

Of course you've heard it before.. I've even told plenty of students this. People only talk about people to soothe their own insecurities. Ya ya blahh blahhh....The madness has got to stop. I can remember promptly uprooting from a predominately African-American neighborhood into one where I was the only black girl on the block. My neighbor was a year younger and Caucasian and he had a BOMB sandbox and tree house. So naturally I wanted to play. Oh sure I endured the ewww you talk white, you act white. I never understood, but as I get older I realize it is usually the small minded, sheltered environment people who subscribe to that form of thinking. I was simply adapting to my new digs! I had the same personality, we played together all the time so I took on his accent, just like I did in college with my southern roomates. I am the same person , just multifaceted.

Two of my favorite artists SOLANGE and Janelle Monae come to mind. Both have individual style and character. I'm sure they aren't running out to buy the latest trend. They appear to be non-conformist, well Solange used to conform..But I applaud her bucking the trend. But the is reality I don't have a nice chunk of change to fall back on. I'm like an singer with no sheet music choking on the notes , so I gotta CARRY MY BUTT TO WORK DAILY! And work requires that I conform at all costs.

i used to luv HYMN

Just ran across my not romanticising anything..
I remember I bought u that Drunken Monkey brand tee
Only b/c I saw it on jay-z…
Im not gon’ be writing no whole bunch of shit
Especially about you…whew!
You introduced m, no, .no seduced me on the Dwele album and
I romanced you on the ideals of Bilal..I was hoping we would find a way
Actually you found your way and I am so proud of you, yet I am still searching
Still growing ..sometimes shrinking, reminding myself that everything happens for a reason,
I once thought I was someone’s everything.. I don’t even know how to be that anymore
Doing whatever I want for me and only me isn’t working anymore, I wanna do things and come
home to a little smiling TWO smiling faces a big one and a little one…
ugh all this searching, maybe I’m using the wrong browser, my rose colored glasses are broken
repair is not my specialty and im too prideful to let just an ol’body fix them..