Sunday, January 31, 2010
One of my favorite songs is by an artist named Janelle Monae. The song is upbeat and just an all out fun song. It focuses on letting go of daily stresses and letting go! This is something I don’t do enough of. I am constantly analyzing everything, sometimes I leave work and my body is ready to unwind. But mentally I cannot rest for some reason. I am always thinking about what things I’ve done, haven’t done yet and need to DO. Awhile back I was in a group counseling class where the topic of happiness came up. The topic for that day was about dealing with burnout and taking time to do things that make you happy. Initially it was an awful experience for me! Everyone had to discuss individually what makes them happy etc. Then my colleagues gave feedback and or criticism. (I equate criticism with rejection) As my turn came around, I realized I LiTeRalLy had no idea what made me HappY. My colleagues were shocked, and very critical. I can still hear one person saying “um she don’t know what makes her happy that’s terrible”. Among the voiced opinions in disbelief my professor saved me. Dr. G stated what I felt was very real, and very common. She challenged the others who said that they were happiest with certain people or doing “things”. What if those people weren’t a part of their lives or they suddenly couldn’t do those things? I didn’t feel so bad, but I did feel like my unhappiness was mistaken for me being unappreciative. But that was totally not the case. I was content with my life then and now. But was that really HaPpY? I am growing, but still try to find that balance. I find Joy in many things. So I said all this to say that this week I worked 2 jobs and went home refreshed and GENUINELY happy. This peace of mind had come about because: I have started praying before I go into my second job. Occasionally the day is a little stressful at job #1 and I do not wish to take my frustrations out on my kids @ job #2. As a counselor I want be neutral. Dr. Drew is my role model for non-verbals. My non-verbals can be off the charts, as much as I try to control them. I simply change my outlook and roll with the punches. It feels Great.