Guarantees

Red lights mean hot doughnuts

Cards say you are loved, you are invited

Hellos, and thank yous show appreciation

Phone calls mean thinking of you. . . . I need you advice I need your wisdom

Life has a few guarantees, I don't know what I can guarantee the people who have love/luv (there is a difference)
for me.

Its got me thinking sometimes I can guarantee a shoulder to vent on, a funny joke, a crazy memory, an honest opinion or a caring genuine spirit.

I try not to find validation for anything in anyone but subconsciously it happens.
I am me , I am  a giver, a pleaser, a mediator. But what happens when:
 I have none left to give
You take too much
My happiness doesn't penetrate your bubble
I decide not to take sides and my opinion matters less
I need you
What happens when I you can't guarantee me anything

Glad that God can guarantee me EVERYTHING

Lately

uggh ,LaTeLY I have been quite the "debbie downer"...
just plain lazy too!

On my days off I feel like my brain is at a complete stand still. I have no desire to be depressed, everytime I "snap" myself out of it. I go right back in?

Refocusing my energy elsewhere is not working...isolation is no longer my solace. But I kinda loathe being around even those I LOVE. I will get better..time will tell everything. Getting evaluated on my job, which in the past has been a wonderful experience. But I digress that I am not always the best ME I can be. Which stifles my productivity but I do what I can considering the things I have to work with.... off to find a moving company, go to the gym and work and find time to cook, and think about dating again.

teigh

Sometimes I isolate myself
I let people see bits and pieces of me
I'm still trying to make sense of it, so I cant take criticism unless in mini doses.


Loving the Love Letter album, and LTTP!
i'm convinced I am a hopeless romantic, or maybe I like the idea of romance?


I have a ton of things in my closet yet I still have nothing to wear, i've added color to my clothing/accessory palette in the form of a blue purse! 


Cutting my hair shorter tomorrow better my hair than my wrists! - Yep I said it but I scratched it  2011 is my SEASON

Life . . . . it just happens

Is life really meant to be figured out? Mannn so many thoughts and ideas rape my brain ..especially when i'm working, sleeping...trying to sleep.Ive written a book in my head, I read it in my sleep... sooo hear goes nothing:

Did u see the soul train awards... I did, lost count of how many times. I love Ms. Baker  s/o to PANDORA.  .. exhibt A : Freddy Jackson that guy is NSFW....exhibt B the show made me want new music like a new Adele album. running to buy The Sea when I get a free paycheck. I think it'll make me happy, either that or I should be able to at least clean up or drink a bottle of wine to it.

The Shhh! guy is still in my  bubble, his smile makes me smile, his laugh makes me laugh, I'm putting good energy out for us ..hope I get it back 

....I miss my friends alot, or do i just miss the times we had, or where I was in life then?

Man i'm 28  single as in not married...No kids on the horizon...shhh! and I are committed

I often feel like I should be commited, apart of me has died chasing my little girl dream, not i'm just chasing pavements....things are hard ..set in stone ....my faith hasn't reached jackhammer status....s/n i dont obsesses about these things .....more patience is a goal

I spent every weekend in Nov. doing something.. it was hectic I like to keep busy , it relaxes my conscience and forces me to live in the moment. 

I think alot maybe thats why I tend to tune people out or cut them off in conversations..... Inside I predict the what ifs and assess risks..its a terrible habit! There is a child in me that is deathly afraid to take risks....I sweat and go into mental overload when I don't feel safe. 

Happiness is good in small doses...lately i've been using all my happiness for others! I know some people who are simply wonderful @ life.

pouring into my glass to make it full